fly away from here

the day after

Things were a little better today.. but probably for all the wrong reasons..

After much effort, I finally woke up and rush down to meet my parent's friend and his daughter for lunch.. The food was good at least. And good food usually puts me in a better mood =) But contrastingly the conversations were, for lack of a better word - "urgh". It was the usual howarethingsgoingforyou, areyoulikingithereinlondon, doyoumissbackhome, wouldyouratherbehereorbackinsingapore.. Well I do recognise that they were said out of care and concern but it still stung a little. I went through the motions and smiled and gave the kind of answers that they ideally want to hear. He did however ask me jokingly if I was homesick or love-sick.. I evaded it by just laughing it off. His daughter also jokingly called him "stupid-man" for asking such a "stuipd question". That moved the topic onto whether I would ever call my own father "stupid man". But I'm going off topic.

It's quite a poignant question.. not entirely sure of what my answer would be. But it's definitely not an either or sort of thing.. Ah like I said, I don't like to think about it.

Anyway, after the lunch I met up with two of my friends.. And gradually I felt somewhat better. It's somewhat of a conflicting thing. I think I'm naturally a "loner".. But somehow ever since coming over her to London I feel a slightly stronger need to have friends? If that makes any sense.. Not necessarily go out and be with them 24/7.. But it's just nice to know that if I want to I could? Not necessarily I would but if I want to, I could.. Think I talked to Fiona about this once but the logic and all behind it is still a little hazy.. ah but it's like what Clement says, I'm not exactly a very logical person =)

[hostel mate just called me to go get some bagels.. it's about 1.30am.. be back in a bit]

[2.30am - back.. had a nice yummy salt beef bagel coupled with hot tea.. and damn, there was this abandoned worn out white couch with planks of wood or something on it.. and it was against a brick wall.. it would have made such a nice photo but I didn't bring out my camera.. and I was too cold and too tired to go back, get my camera and come out again.. oh well]

Ah I'll blog more about it all another time..

Off to do a bit more of work before sleeping.. I haven't been doing much work the last few days..

*thanks to all who read my blog and told me in one way or another that you're there for me.. thank you.. :)

posted by -xin` @ 02:41